By Louie Giglio
In my home, my wife and I have a partnership, I’m even lucky enough to work with my wife. We don’t have kids, just our goldendoodle, London, and I lead all three of us. Most leaders forget to include themselves in the leadership of their homes. I have to lead myself first, then Shelley, and then London, if we are including pets. You know, pets have to be on board or the household breaks down.
Leading means three things in my home.
I need to have a direction for my wife.
I need to go home with a vision, direction, or calling. I believe what women truly want, deep down, is a man who has a clue about where they are going and why. I need to have something to invite Shelley into. She is interested and wants to be involved in the things I have learned. She doesn’t want to make all of the decisions. Many men pass off decision making to their wives, but I believe that a woman wants a man who sets the pace, who knows where they are going, and has a vision to see it through.
I must recognize that Shelley is an equal partner in what God has called us to do.
I may be the leader, but Shelley and I are two people who are made one under God. I do not call Shelley “the wife.” I call her by her name because we are equal. Shelley is an equal partner in our home and an equal partner in our ministry. I would not be the pastor that I am without her encouragement, support, and input.
When I see her as an equal partner, I am open to her input in my life. Shelley is one of the few people who will tell me when my talk stinks or when I should change something. She says things that other people may be nervous to say to me. She gives me incredibly wise advice that I value.
This equal partnership also means that I don’t make a major decision and move forward without her buy-in. I felt, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was called to plant a church. Shelley did not feel the same right away, so I waited until God moved her heart as firmly as he had moved mine.
I must listen to Shelley.
I listen to her, and I try to speak into her the same thing I try to speak into everyone else.
Now, there is more to leading at home than these three things, but I think embracing these three principals will change the dynamics at home. Your wife and family will feel included and and that they matter in the equation. If we can create a “we” and not “me” environment at home, then we are leading well.