In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and Barnabas Piper talk with Brad Lomenick about the challenges, complexities, and techniques of leading team members you don;t really like very much. We all know those people – they’re annoying, they’re aggressive, they’re a lot of different things. But likable isn’t one of them. But if we’re to be leaders how do we handle those relationships and that friction well? We asked the following questions to help sort this out.
- How important is it to have a team you like?
- Is it possible to build a team full of people you like?
- How can a leader keep personal conflicts from becoming professional obstacles?
- How can a leader diminish conflicts within a team when one person stands out as unpleasant.
- When is the right time to cut ties with an unlikable person?
“I think it’s easier to lead people you’re close to.”
“People will work better when they’re happier; people are happier when they’re with people they like.”
“There’s a difference between liking somebody socially and liking to work with someone.”
“The question you should be asking is whether there’s an incompetence issue.”
“When you knock out a big project together, shoulder to shoulder, it’s really hard not to like that person.”
“Most dislike is really shallow.”
“I hope nobody listening to this knew me in college.”
“As a leader you should not have the goal of everybody on your team being your best friend.”
“It’s the leader’s responsibility to take ownership of relationships.”
“Be the leader who’s willing to confront and say the hard first line.”
“That person is not a worse person because they don’t hold the same viewpoint as you.”
“The hardest conversations you have end up being mile markers for your relationship getting stronger.”
“In the church it can get really messy unless there are some clear boundaries.”
“Leadership development is not an event, it’s a relationship.”
“Just because it’s funny doesn’t mean you have to say it.”
“The leader holds responsibility for the team’s interactions with each other.”
“Cliques are SO divisive on a team.”
“Toxic is different from unlikable.”
“A lot of people who are unlikable, who are jerks, actually get a lot done.”
H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick